Wanderer’s Blog

The night before I was listening the recording or LIUS in 2003, when the programme was still on for 5-6 every evening , having Ted, Jane, Edward, Thomas , Andrew and so many foreigners from different countries. I was glad to find that Andrew is a very interesting guy, much opening and cute then Ted. Of course I had not been listening to it during early 2003 , more exactly , not putting much attention to stick on it. And now , it seems a huge pity.

Listerning to Edward’’s show is alwasy very enjoyable . Some people may find it quite boring with Ed talking and talking on the serious social or literature topics like PRISONS, SELF-SUICIDES, but I always find it’s helpful and learnd a lot in Ed’s own opinion , in which I found his insights existed not like others .

Andrew is of course the highlight these days since I had not pay enough attention to him and always think he’s a attachment. I am sorry to say that. I found his accent very rural-American .AHA! And a little hoarse and dramatic when he tried to explain something quite funny. Interesting.

And the night I was listening to KEV ,JAMES and Andrew talking about Preordain that I really found myself looking forward it for so long. How nice that I got to know how KEV had been into the radio industry and how things all changed their lives when radom encounters occured. Preordination , believe it or not?

I used to think that life owns me alot while now I am changed to think it’s not life owns me much but I own myself too much. Nobody has owned you anything ,you just own yourself a choice, an option or others , who knows.Retrospect, I found so many options that were already there that I missed to pick and choose that ended the thought of life owning me . It’s good to find that life has already presented you everything that you haven’t understand how to choose.Preordain or not, it’s just the way people have for doing first or waiting first. It’s sorry to think everything is preordained and you do nothing just to wait. How many people believe in this I dont know , but I am just inside some time and to loose myself in control.

Control and balance. I am trying very hard ,pushing myself to limit.

This morning, I just met someone sitting in front of me ,short, thin, pale in face and has a pair of torch-like eys which stared right inside my soul like a radar. I wonder he has the ailibyt of BLINKING .I have the instant feeling of being watched by a vampire who really had no idea how I felt and continued like that for the rest of the talk. I am never scared of foreingers while it should be the 1st time today that I am really scared or being astonished , motionlessly seated. And he never smiles, all the time listening very attentively like he was going to miss anyword I was saying by just one blink. I found myself unconciously smiling each time speaking of previous PM , which should always be the situaion. I was, am still quite amazed by the effect he left on me for the past years after he left here . It’s like vernal sunshine, shining always far away , and I when I reach it through any sense ability, it is there , never left and died out.The echo is powerful and lasting. It shall be an spiritual drug, I admit it finally as it had done no damage but help to me. I believe he didnt notice this but I think he knows how we both felt when being talking passionately. I am grateful and surprised he sent the new year greeting to me by X’MAS with a nother wish that I could have a white XMAS and have my 2nd snow man, which he mentioned year before which may looked just like him.I laughed, halfheartely. It’s too many jokes and interesting insights in both of us , traveling long way lead by the talk. I must admit I really enjoyed it because at least so far, no one has had that influence on me . It made me totaly calm dowm to peace. I still remembered when MAX first mentioned him to me in the telephone , that he IS A VERY PLEASANT GUY. PLEASANT , how very accurate.

Winter has already stayed here as I have been longing to when ever it is not in this season. Hoping my Spring will just step in intime to present me a real spring.